By Katey Rich
Today, for perhaps the first time in my life, I'm sorry I'm not in L.A. Reports from Hollywood say it's madness there, with bike messengers toppling under piles of scripts to be delivered to studios, writers showing up with their entire bodies covered in Post-It notes in order to get all their ideas out at once, and Paul Haggis apparently having saved the cheerleader, saved the world by turning in his script for the next Bond movie.
Well, that's how I picture it at least. The above-linked Hollywood Reporter article lays out that kind of scenario, with teamwork between studio heads and writers trying to get their content--and paychecks--taken care of before the deep freeze settles in. But looking at the content they're so frantically rushing to finish in at least once case-- The Fast and the Furious 4? Seriously?--you have to wonder why they bother. OK, OK, millions of dollars in lost revenue would probably motivate me too.
Some of the tactics laid out in the Reporter article seem insane-- three different writers are currently pumping away at the G.I. Joe script, and Paramount may combine the best parts of all three to make the shooting script. At New Line, they're counting on Vince Vaughn to help polish up his starrer Four Christmases, since he's not a guild member and can write as much as he pleases. When you find yourself shouting "Help me Vince Vaughn, you're my only hope!" it's most definitely time for a reality check.
All this rushing around makes me wonder how the finished product can possibly be good. Akiva Goldsman, as talented a screenwriter as he is, is flying through Angels & Demons, based on a book that didn't tend to make a whole lot of sense to begin with. You wouldn't think next December's Angels could be any more critically panned than its predecessor, but the rush isn't exactly giving it a leg up. And though many scripts feel like they've been cobbled together by three different screenwriters, if G.I. Joe actually is, is there any way it won't be muddled and confusing? Of course, the other option is no screenplays at all, which could leave us this time next year stuck watching Harold and Kumar 2 in 4,000 theatres nationwide, with no competition. Still, the idea that 2008 will be filled with a bunch of rushed screenplays and/or hack jobs doesn't exactly make me eager for another year at the movies. And hey, look at the teaser poster below and tell me you wouldn't look forward to seeing that next September.
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