By Sarah Sluis
A movie based on a theme park ride seemed like a terrible idea, but Pirates of the Caribbean IV is already in development. So it should come as no surprise that the board game Monopoly will serve as the 
narrative anchor for a screenplay to be written by Pamela Pettler. Those expecting a top hat and monocle, do not pass go: Ridley Scott will direct the project, and plans to add some Blade Runner touches to the idea to update the Depression-era board game. Maybe they live in a futuristic society where everyone gets one "Get out of Jail Free" card, and drawing from the "Chance" deck is mandatory? "Monopoly" joins Battleship, Ouija Board,"and G.I. Joe as other games receiving the feature treatment under a Universal-Hasbro development deal.
The series of Not Another Teen/Disaster/Scary Movies inspires groans among critics; review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes frequently tallies a 0% rating for these movies, a sort of accomplishment in itself given that the movies keep on getting green-lighted. Finally, an answer to the success of "Not Another Movies": Not Another Not Another Movie. The tertiary critique stars Chevy Chase and chronicles a struggling production studio that attempts to make a spoof of spoof movies--which actually makes the film fourth-removed from what it is actually mocking. The "indie comedy," in all probability a synonym for "low-budget, direct-to-video," sounds so terrible that it might just inspire a rental among those burned out of films with a high production value.
Michael Moore plans to make his sequel to Farenheit 9/11 less
about foreign policy and more about the current American outrage over
the economy. Sensing that a change in regime could weaken demand for a government critique, The Weinstein Company passed on the project months ago, but Paramount Vantage and Overture have high hopes for the film, which is currently shooting. Certainly, with the volatility of the markets, there's a strong chance that Moore can draw an obsolete conclusion. After all, didn't McCain get into huge trouble for stating "The fundamentals of the economy are strong" on the eve of the collapse of major financial institutions?
Perhaps receiving an extra push due to the recent success of doggie picture Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Meryl Streep signed on to the project Dewey the Library Cat, an adaptation of a pet memoir about an
orphaned cat who takes refuge in a library, influencing the lives of the residents of a small Iowa town. The project follows an unusual wave of pet pictures--yesterday at the movie theatre I saw two side by side posters for December's Marley and Me, also based on a pet memoir, and kid picture Hotel for Dogs ("No stray gets turned away"). Woof.
Paris Hilton will appear in Todd Solondz's sequel to Happiness. The pairing of the two seems unusual, but just might work. If anything, the casting reminds me of Tara Reid's brief cameo as Bunny in the Coen Brothers' The Big Lebowski. The widely lauded role gave a glimpse to how Reid could have worked her clueless party girl image to her advantage, but, unreplicated, it's the one bright spot in a career otherwise noted for Reid's botched plastic surgery and a decade-old role in American Pie. Hilton recently starred in horror camp film Repo! The Genetic Opera, which, though I've yet to see it, seems to play Paris as kitsch, instead of straight--anticipating the mockery and eye-rolling that frequently accompany her presence. Whoever is in charge of her career is doing an excellent job.
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