Which leads us to wonder just what Mean Girls would have looked like had von Trier brought his heavily referential Nymphomaniac method of directing to bear upon the film, one decade ago…
Mean Girls as Imagined by Lars von Trier:
In addition to the Biblical overtones, von Trier’s Mean Girls would necessarily include a discursive
Still with us? Don’t worry, in von Trier’s Mean Girls, Ms. Norbury (Tina Fey) has a much larger role, accompanying Cady throughout the halls of North Shore High and commenting upon her doings in order to aid the audience in catching, at the very least, a backdraft of the many references coursing through the film. Ms. Norbury would be the Virgil figure, which is apt, as this would make high school Hell.
Finally, in von Trier’s Mean Girls, the film would end, as the original does not, when Regina George
Thus, popular reaction to Lars von Trier’s Mean Girls could easily be summarized in the phrase, “a serious downer.” Others would undoubtedly hail it as a masterpiece. Could a von Trier Mean Girls have ever come to rival the Tina Fey-Mark Waters creation? Alas, the world will never know.