Box Office Outlook: How Foolish Are We Feeling?

By Katey Rich

It's the dead of winter, but on the big screen this weekend moviegoers have the option to cavort around the Caribbean with the most tanned and muscled movie stars working today. Barring that, there's the option of seeing a talk show host work out his issues with his kooky family, or four stand-up comedians traveling the country with Santa's brother, or Paris Hilton being... Paris Hilton. Or how about some criminals hiding out in a Belgian town with an utterly unpronouncable name?

The situation this weekend is remarkably less grim than the last one, when most of the new releases weren't even pretending to have plots. The biggest release from that weekend, incidentally, is sticking around for this one, and only time will tell how well Hannah Montana can do for a second go-round. Otherwise it's Fool's Gold that's trying to rule the day, opening on far more screens than any other release and promising beautiful scenery, beautiful stars, and an utterly mild romantic comedy that fills the void left by 27 Dresses. With a forecast of snow in this neck of the woods for the weekend, that might be all it takes.

FOOL'S GOLD. Opening in 3.125 theatres. Matthew McConaughey goes shirtless, as usual, as the irascible Finn, a Florida slacker intent on finding a long-buried treasure, even at the expense of his marriage with Tess (Kate Hudson), an ambitious academic. She's just about ready to head to Chicago to pursue her career when Finn really seems to have found the treasure. With the help of a billionaire (Donald Sutherland) and his ditzy daughter Gemma (Alexis Dziena), the two set off on an adventure that, wouldn't you know it, will rekindle their romance as well.

I don't even want to admit how much the idea of looking at tropical locales appeals to me at the moment; beyond that, though, it seems there's not much worthwhile in Fool's Gold. Our Frank Lovece at least sees some of the appeal: "All this plethora of plot mirrors the less-than-engaging trackdown of treasure. But the locations are all gorgeous, the ocean looks beautiful, the toothpick-thin Dziena nonetheless looks spectacular in a bikini, and the cinematography is as polished as Matthew McConaughey's chest." The Hollywood Reporter is so unamused that it asks the unimaginable: "Where's Jimmy Buffett when you really need him?" The Onion A.V. Club at least had a little bit of fun, writing, "Fool's Gold is a disposable beach paperback of a movie, easy to digest and even easier to forget."

WELCOME HOME ROSCOE JENKINS. Opening in 2,384 theatres. Martin Lawrence stars as a famous talk show host who begrudgingly goes home with his wife (Joy Bryant) to attend his parents' (James Earl Jones and Margaret Avery) 50th wedding anniversary. There he must contend with all of his crazy siblings and cousins, and all the rivalries and emotions that come along with them. Mo'Nique, Mike Epps, Michael Clarke Duncan, Nicole Ari Parker and Cedric the Entertainer round out the cast.

Critics aren't exactly impressed, but they all seem to hold a grudge against Martin Lawrence and are busy thanking him for getting the hell out of the way this time. "The biggest surprise is how tamped down Lawrence is," writes our Daniel Eagan. "[Director] Lee may opt for easy gags, but the film's moral and its ultimately uplifting view of family pride make up for its weak points." "Despite its narrative staleness and an indulgently long runtime, it's still not half bad, largely because it places an absolute premium on brash, bawdy humor," writes Slant Magazine. Entertainment Weekly calls it "a decent enough way to spend two hours," but also notes that it "does give off the distinct whiff of underachievement." And Carrie Rickey at the Philadelphia Inquirer finds it all a little too big for her tastes: "As a rule I don't mind broad humor. But the widescreen isn't ample enough to fit the jokes here."

VINCE VAUGHN'S WILD WEST COMEDY SHOW: 30 DAYS AND 30 NIGHTS-- FROM HOLLYWOOD TO THE HEARTLAND. Opening in 800 theatres. Whew, that's a mouthful. This documentary follows exactly what is promised in the title, a monthlong concert tour featuring Vaughn and several other lesser-known comedians. The film combines behind-the-scenes footage of the comedians as well as their stage performances, and features drop-by cameos from the likes of Justin Long, Elf director Jon Favreau, and Dwight Yoakam.

The critics seem torn between enjoying the personalities of the performers and actually enjoying the show. "If only the Wild West Comedy Show were funnier," writes our Daniel Eagan. "While the tour looks like it had an appealingly ragged spontaneity and goofiness, the film itself is a chore to sit through at times." David Edelstein at New York Magazine is just nostalgic from the good old days of variety shows, and not in a good way: "Makes you think of the days in which troupes that didn't deliver were run out of town, bullets pinging off their heels." But Gene Seymour at Newsday had a good time, calling the film "an affectionate memento."

THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE. Opening in 111 theatres. Paris Hilton gets her first big-screen starring role in a movie that is essentially summed up by its poster. A guy (Joel David Moore) wants to get with his idolized childhood crush (Hilton, naturally), but she demands that he first find someone for her best friend (Christine Lakin), who is most definitely a nottie (see photo at left). Disgusting challenges ensue, but of course, romance prevails.

Well... what are you expecting me to tell you? How about that Owen Glieberman of Entertainment Weekly writes "The Farrelly brothers could burp out a movie funnier than The Hottie & the Nottie." Or that the Village Voice has no lack of mean words for it: "Crass, shrill, disingenuous, tawdry, mean-spirited, vulgar, idiotic, boring, slapdash, half-assed, and very, very unfunny." The New York Times is pretty succinct, caling it "a tasteless train wreck." How about we let Rex Reed say it all: "I would like to tell you this gross-out-on-camera is every bit as bad as its title implies, but that would not be entirely true. It is much, much worse."

IN BRUGES. Opening in 28 theatres. 'Tis the season to jet off for mid-winter holidays, so why not join some criminals on vacation in the famed Belgian city? In Bruges finds Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson as two Irish hit men who have been commanded to take a holiday by their boss, Ralph Fiennes, after a hit went terribly wrong. Much like death, though, it seems that hit men just can't take a holiday, and soon the two are disturbing the peace in their vacation town. Celebrated playwright Martin McDonagh (The Pillowman) makes his feature directing debut here.

Some critics are along for the vacation, while others are anxious to get back to work. "McDonagh knows how to create compelling characters that evoke our empathy, even when his leads are assassins, and he tells a good story without resorting to narrative tricks," writes our Rex Roberts, currently booking his ticket to Bruges. Peter Travers of Rolling Stone writes that Farrell's "got his mojo back," and the film is "literate, lively cinema�a bit of all right in a sea of tongue-tied tinseltown garbage." Anthony Lane at The New Yorker, though, didn't have quite such a good time: "In Bruges calls its characters to their final reckoning with no higher motive than to blow them merrily away. [...] These people have no souls to lose, because they know they're in a movie." And Manohla Dargis at The New York Times is crazy about the language, but not so much about the movie itself: "[McDonagh] talks a blue streak beautifully, but he has yet to find the nuance and poetry that make his red images signify with commensurate sizzle and pop."