Box Office Outlook: A Speedy Trip to Vegas

By Katey Rich

The thing about opening weekends like the one Iron Man had is that they set a standard that's hard to beat. How many other movies this summer will manage to gross $100 million in a single weekend? Well, probably neither of this weekend's major releases will accomplish that, but it'll be a fight to see if the romantic comedy What Happens in Vegas could quite possibly overcome the big-budget, visually overwhelming Speed Racer. It's a battle of the bad reviews between the two of them, and even the smaller movies this weekend are getting a lashing. Something tells me Iron Man will be laughing its way to the bank yet again.

SPEED RACER. Opening in 3,606 theatres. In a world full of brighter colors and faster cars than you can imagine, young Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) dreams of racing professionally, even though his older brother Rex's (Scott Porter) tarnished legacy means the sport isn't what it used to be. Encouraged by his parents (Susan Sarandon and John Goodman), his girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) and his loyal mechanic Sparky (Kick Gurry), Speed joins a cross-country race to prove to the big bad corporation that controls racing that he can win as an independent. There's also a mysterious vigilante named Racer X (Matthew Fox) on Speed's side, who may or may not be long-lost brother Rex. The whole movie was shot on green screen, and the cartoon-imitating style of the film pretty much has to be seen to be believed. Speed Racer, of course, is the Wachowskis' return to directing for the first time since the Matrix trilogy.

And, unfortunately, the Wachowskis have once again failed to produce anything on the level of the first Matrix. Critics largely hated Speed Racer, from our Frank Lovece's complaint that "it's all a bombastic mishmash" to A.O. Scott of The New York Times sighing, "Speed Racer goes nowhere, and you'd be amazed how long the trip can take." The candy-colored world of the movie has inspired some truly colorful pans from critics. Rex Reed of The New York Observer writes, "It looks like somebody ate 25 cafeteria Jello-O congealed salads and then threw up all over the sets." MSNBC.com throws in a few more food analogies for good measure: "Imagine someone pouring hot, melted Starburst candies into your corneas, and you just begin to approximate the experience of Speed Racer, an ice-cream headache of a movie that just keeps piling on the unnatural colors." And writing for the highbrow New Yorker audience, Anthony Lane puts it all in an existential light: "Our eyeballs will slowly, though never completely, recover, but what of our souls?" While I'll argue that Speed Racer has its pleasures, few of them top the joy of reading these hilarious, scathing reviews.

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS. Opening in 3,215. Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher star in another spin on the squabbling-couples-falling-in-love genre that hasn't really been topped since Clark Gable took off his shirt in It Happened One Night. Anyway, in this version, Jack and Joy meet in Las Vegas and spend a wild night together, only to wake up after a wedding that neither really remembers. Back home in New York, their divorce proceedings are complicated by the fact that one of them is the winner of a $3 million slot machine payout. Rather than divorce, they fight over the money, and after moving in together and trying to fake a marriage... well, you see where this is going. Rob Corddry and Lake Bell co-star as friends of the couple, with Dennis Miller as a judge and Queen Latifah as a marriage counselor.

If Speed Racer is taking heat for being too innovative, What Happens in Vegas gets slammed for being too much of the same old thing. "The women at whom is this is aimed will find better romantic chemistry and more laughs in a repeat viewing of Iron Man," I wrote in my review. The Hollywood Reporter criticizes the couple's attempts at sabotaging each another that take up the middle portion of the film: "Each attempt is lamely conceived and all-too predictable. Also, none is designed to make a viewer care about either one." The Chicago Tribune points out one of the many awful truths about Dana Fox's screenplay: "[It] devolves into a series of humiliating pranks that always give the upper narrative hand to the male lead. Talk about depressing. I mean, that's what male screenwriters are for�to unfairly stack the deck against the female leads." And yet, a handful of critics were feeling generous, among then Owen Gleiberman of Entertainment Weekly: "Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz hate on each other with dynamite verve."

THE BABYSITTERS. Opening in 19 theatres. A group of teenage girls running a prostitution ring under the guise of babysitting? Yes, it's an indie. Katherine Waterston stars as Shirley, who becomes a teenage madam after engaging in an affair with the father of her babysitting charges (John Leguizamo) and earning a large bonus in the process. She enlists other high school girls in her effort, pocketing 20% of their payment, but of course, modern-day Lolitas can't keep at it for too long.

According to the critics, the movie doesn't redeem itself from its nasty premise. "Neither truly original nor a guilty-pleasure genre spin, the pic lacks a hook for general audiences who may find the subject matter distasteful as presented," writes Variety. Our David Noh pulls out the witty barbs, writing, "[It] evokes a dreary plethora of mediocre Lifetime movies, to be perhaps enjoyed when there's absolutely nothing else on the tube, with Zinfandel and cat in hand." The Village Voice calls it "woefully reductive," but Rex Reed (him again!) likes it, writing, "Pitched somewhere between dark comedy and melodrama, The Babysitters breaks rules."